What Family Guy Would Never Say
by BlueEyedFun
Summary: The title says it all! See Family Guy say and do stuff....Well that they would never say or do!


What Family Guy Would Never Say

Hi, just to let you know, what inspired me to write this was the author Strawbery-kitten, who did "What Tokyo Mew Mew would Never Say."

Stewey: I wish there was peace on Earth...

Meg: Beautiful mother, handsome father, perfect brothers, cute doggy! I am going to join the cheer squad! (Jumps up and down with pom poms) Give me a C! Give me a H! Give me two E's! Give me a R! What does that spell! CHEER!

Chris: Mom! Dad! I made an A on my test!

Stewey: I think I am going to go to bible school this summer.

Lowis: Peter, I don't want to have sex with you anymore... I wanna have it with Qagmire.

Qagmire: Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-oh god! No, no! Not with Lowis! Anything, but that!

Stewey: I want to save the whales.

Peter: I want to become a vegetarian.

Lowis: I'm going to get a job.

Peter: No, forget the vegetarian thing, I'm going to become anirexic.

Meg: I love you Chris. Your so kind.

Lowis: I am going to follow my dream and become a circus clown! (Honks red nose and cartwheels out the door)

Qagmire: I think I'm gay... Peter looks sexy today!

Perverted old man who likes Chris: Chris stinks... I'm going for Lowis.

Stewey: (Singing) Jesus loves me, yes I know! For the bible tells me so! I think I am going to become a religious singer and then give my millions of dollars to the homeless.

Brian: I am going to stop drinking and become nicer to Stewey.

Chris: I want to marry Meg!

Brian: Yep, I have got to stop drinking... Did Chris say he wanted to marry Meg?

Meg: (Wearing wedding gown) I cant marry you Chris, I'm marrying Stewey.

Stewey: Well I cant marry you Meg, I'm marrying Bob.

All: Who's Bob?

Stewey: Oh, it's a long story you see, we met at a gay bar, and we talked...Yes...We talked a lot...Then he popped the big question...Did I mention I want to become a religious singer?

Peter: I wish I was Marilyn Monroe...(Sigh, then sings) Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Mr. President! Happy birthday to you!

Stewey: OH GOD! My ears are bleeding!

Peter: (Sigh)

Marilyn Monroe's agent: Marilyn, are you okay? You looked frightened...

Marilyn Monroe: I have the strangest feeling that a fat man wants to be me... Oh, have you seen that one episode on Family Guy?

Agent: Oh, yeah! That was awseome!

Chris: When I grow up I am going to become a fashion designer! (Looks at Brian's fur) You know Brian, that color doesn't look good on you! I think you would look better with a tranquil red color.

Brian: It's my fur though...

Chris: I know just trust me!

Chris dyes Brian's fur.

Chris: Do you love it!

Brian: (Looks in mirror) I'm not sure, but I do know I have seven years of bad luck.

Lowis: I can see the future! Peter is going to say something stupid!

Peter: Eggs are good... Oh my God! Lowis you can see the future! Okay, now do you see anything with Peter and Marilyn Monroe?

Lowis: You want to marry Marilyn Monroe?

Peter: Noooo! I want to become the next Marilyn Monroe.

Brian: I don't know, look what you did to Stewey singing the happy birthday song.

Stewey: What did you say! I'm a little hard of hearing! (Stewey's ears are blue)

Peter: Guess what everyone! There are no flash backs on this show!

Brian: Lowis, fall over dead!

Lowis: But I love you Brian!

Brian: Well SOR REE!

Lowis: And I was going to let you kiss me!

Peter: Man, I need more money... Hey LOWIS! You wanna become a hooker?

Chis: Dad, can I become a stripper?

Stewey: Life is beautiful.

Peter: Hey do I have a job?

Brian: Yeah, who works on this show?

Meg: I am going to blow up the White House! (Evil Laughter)

Peter: Not if I do it first!

Both race to the White House.

Stewey: Wait! We have to stick together! The White House is a beautiful place!...Like life.

Peter and Meg: (Nod heads) Yeah, your right.

Stewey: HA! SIC! (Throws bomb at White House then runs away) VICTORY IS MINE!

Peter: Well, the Lincoln Memorial is still up for blows.

Meg: I bet I can blow it up before you!

Peter: Bring it on!

Lowis: I have seem to misplace my glasses.

Brian: You wear glasses? How come I never seen them before?

Lowis: Because their invisable.

Chris: I wonder what period pads are? (Goes in Meg's cabnet and gets one.)

Meg: What are you doing!

Chris: (Is wearing the pad on his eyes) Their sleeping masks!

Brian: Uuuuh, Stewey, youknowthat place on my back where you scratch me that makes me thump my leg?

Stewey: Yeah.

Brian: Well, can you scratch for me?

Stewey scratches Brian.

Brian: OH YEAH! OH! OH! OOOOOOOOOOOH!

Chris hears the noise coming from Stewey's room...Takes clothes off and walks in.

Chris: Is their room for a threesome?

Brian and Stewey looks at him, shocked.

Chris: Ooopsie! Sorry!

Peter: I'm going to watch the Discovery Channel!

Lowis: I'm going to watch WWF!

Meg: I'm going to watch 7thHeaven!

Chris: I'm going to watch the news!

Brian: I'm going to watch World's Funniest Animals on Animal Planet!

Stewey: I'm going to watch infomercials of asking people to give money to the hungry children and I am going to give them Meg's whole entire colledge fund! Just let me wait for the number!...There it is!

Alien from American Dad: Oops! Wrong episode! The characters just look so much alike!

Peter: (dials number) Yeah, hello? Is this Men in Black?...I'll hold.

Hi! It's over! If you want just reply! (Zoom Out)

BlueEyedFun


End file.
